Dont want to go dont want to go dont want to go dont want to go dont want to go!!!!!!!

Going On this fated sodding holiday tomorrow with Danny and his family.. lovely gesture.. but the thought of spending 'girlie time' with his mum sister and brothers gf while 'the boys' go off and walk up mountains makes me feel ill in the pit of my stomach.. sends my whole being off into panick mode.. nothing against any of them at all.. i just cant do that sort of thing 'relaxed'
not to mention and not to overstate my 'dirt issues' cause realy they arnt my majour issue but still they are there and make me uncomfortable.. but sharing a cottage which is a holiday cottage so who knows how many random people have spread there muck there.. but sharing it with 6 other people.. sharing a bathroom and a shower with six other people.. does set my comfort radar squealing.. being away from home being so far away with out my own transport and means to get home also is sending me off in a tizz.. *sigh*
i feel like crying! i would LOVE to be able to go i would LOVE to be able to look forward to it as a change from everyday life and a week off work.. but with all this ocd rubbish in my mind i cant.. =( maybe theres a reason i havent has a holiday in 14years! =/
but no getting out of it now.. actualy was no getting out of it from the moment it was sprung upon me.. it was one of those.. Everyone else is going you cant NOT come..
no choice
...

as for other stuff.. bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

good stuff?

errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr?

oooooooh life is a rollercoaster aint it.. just a few extra bumps for an ocd'er..

=)

xxkit..